n. A period of the day when the universe repeatedly whispers in your ear "screw you".
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
— Frank Sinatra
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Some people like to spring out of bed and face the morning. I prefer to sneak up on it from behind and silently strangle it.
— Guy Smith