lawyer
n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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n. Someone who helps you get what is coming to him.
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n. A liar with a permit to practice.
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n. Someone who defends your interest and takes the principal.
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n. A person who extracts the truth from a situation before concealing it.
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Cynical Quotations
We joke but deep-down, lawyers are not bad people. I'd have to say right around six-feet deep is when they are not so bad...
— Mark Wonsil
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Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.
— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
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The only funny thing about lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and everyone else doesn't know that they're jokes.
— Many Lawyers
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Would a kind, just and merciful God allow lawyers to live?
— Guy Smith
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A lawyer starts life giving $500 worth of law for $5 and ends giving $5 worth for $500.
— Benjamin H. Brewster
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It has been said that we joke about those that we truly love. This is bunk, for there is no book thicker than the book of lawyer jokes.
— Guy Smith
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It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers.
— Robert Heinlein
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One would have thought litigation superior to dueling for the purpose of settling disputes – provided that one had not met a lawyer.
— William Ferraiolo
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Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.
— Oliver Goldsmith
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Possession is nine points of the law. Lawyer fees and the other ninety one.
— Unknown
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No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
— Jean Giraudoux
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If it weren't for the lawyers we wouldn't need them.
— William Jennings Bryan
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Hiring a lawyer is expensive, and so is the alternative.
— Anonymous
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