Cynical
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Cynical Definitions

n. Biological plumbing differentiating one gender from another, except in San Francisco where such differentiation is considered irrelevant, immoral, and unconstitutional.

n. The natural, and occasionally unnatural, physical union of two or more plants or animals, for the purpose of procreation, sport, or obtaining a husband.

n. The world's favorite participant sport.

Cynical Quotations

Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.

— Richard P. Feynman.

The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.

— Lori LaPerle

Politics is my second favorite contact sport, right after sex. With either, I know I'm getting screwed.

— Guy Smith

Alcohol - Helping ugly people have sex since 4,000 B.C.

— Bathroom Graffiti

Sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome, and natural things that money can buy.

— Steve Martin

Children are God's punishment for having sex. And Grandchildren are God's reward for putting up with them.

— Ronald Appel

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

— Billy Crystal

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

— Aldous Huxley

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

— Jimmy Demaret

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

— George Burns

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

— Zsa Zsa Gabor

God invented sex and we give praise to him at every orgasm by shouting "Oh, my God".

— Guy Smith

Some people purport that oysters are aphrodisiacs. Nonsense. This is a ruse by men to make certain sexual favors more palatable to women by the virtue of comparison.

— Guy Smith

If sex is original sin, Murphyisms are original cynicism.

— Guy Smith

How can sex be "original sin" when humans appeared to being doing little else for millions of years. Doesn't sound very original at all.

— Guy Smith

Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics.

— Unknown