Cynical
Goodies

Cynical Definitions

n. Uncivil union.

n. The holy state of mutual disillusionment.

n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

n. The only adventure open to cowards.

n. Nature's method of keeping of from fighting with strangers.

n. The mourning after the knot before.

Cynical Quotations

I so enjoy seeing young lovers smooching in public. Not only does it fill the heart with warm and sentimental feelings, but I'm comforted in the knowledge that the ship of their affections will soon sink on the rock shores of reality, or sucked forever downward in the maelstrom of marriage.

— Guy Smith

Financially speaking, being married with children is exactly like diving into a pond filled with leeches, except you can flick leech off.

— Scott Harrell and Guy Smith Jr.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

— H.L. Mencken

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

— Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

— Rita Rudner

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

— Josh Billings

A marriage without children is like a wound without salt.

— Bill Danzey

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

— Zsa Zsa Gabor

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

— Rita Rudner

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

— Rita Rudner

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

— Groucho Marx

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

— Raymond Hull