Cynical
Goodies

Cynical Definitions

n. An animal so clever it behaves like an imbecile.

n. An animal so lost in contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he ought to be.

n. A rational animal that loses its temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

Cynical Quotations

A woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake an entire relationship.

— Unknown

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

— Abba Eban

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman.

— Margaret Thatcher

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

— Samuel Butler

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

— H.L. Mencken

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

— Sir Richard Francis Burton

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.

— Mark twain

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

— Oscar Wilde

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

— Mark Twain

Man is living proof that God has a sense humor - he gave him two heads and only enough blood to think with one at a time.

— Robin Williams

[Man's] chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

— Ambrose Bierce