(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

     
     

 

Word:  funeral

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Cynical Definitions

n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

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Cynical Quotations

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

— Michael Pritchard

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The only difference between a wedding and a funeral is, there is one less person standing at a funeral.

— Cliff Cole

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