(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

     
     

 

Word:  expert

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Cynical Definitions

n. A person with more data than judgment.

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n. A person knowledgeable enough about what is going on to be scared.

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n. A person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.

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n. A specialist who knows everything about something, and nothing about anything else.

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Cynical Quotations

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

— Peter Ustinov

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Where facts are few, experts are many.

— Donald R. Gannon

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An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

— Niels Bohr

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Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

— Robert Heinlein

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