(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

     
     

 

Word:  truth

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Cynical Definitions

n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

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n. Well aged blasphemies.

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Cynical Quotations

Chase after truth like hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails.

— Clarence Darrow

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They shall not overcome. Whoever told them that the truth shall set them free was obviously and grossly unfamiliar with federal law.

— John Ashcroft

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Most people, sometime in their lives, stumble across truth. And most jump up, brush themselves off, and hurry on about their business as if nothing had happened.

— Winston Churchill

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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

— Arthur Schopenhauer

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The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.

— Herbert Agar

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Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.

— Philip Guedalla

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There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously.

— Thomas Sowell

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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

— Mark Twain

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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

— H.L. Mencken

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Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.

— Unknown

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The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.

— Edith Sitwell

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It is amazing the number of people who are pleased by the simple act of sincerely professing the truth. I mean, I would have thought there would have been at least one.

— John Alejandro King

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It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

— Jerome K. Jerome

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Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.

— Ambrose Bierce

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If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

— Robert Heinlein

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The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

— Oscar Wilde

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A politician under oath is a bit like a tumor under chemotherapy.

— William Ferraiolo

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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

— Andre Gide

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