(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Cynical Definitions

n. State-controlled manufactory of echoes.

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n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

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n. The progressive discovery of your ignorance.

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Cynical Quotations

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

— Evan Esar

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Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.

— Bertrand Russell

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Every man should have a college education in order to show him how little the thing is really worth.

— Elbert Hubbard

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Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it.

— Stephen Vizinczey

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Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

— Laurence J. Peter

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I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.

— Michel de Montaigne

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The tendency of abstract thought ... is one of the real dangers of the highest education.

— Mark Pattison

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The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.

— Russell Green

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We provide higher education to the masses in much the same way that one might provide a ladder to a jellyfish.

— William Ferraiolo

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A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

— George Bernard Shaw

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