(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

 
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Cynical Definitions

n. Someone who does not care what you do as long as it is compulsory.

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n. A person who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which he proposes to pay-off with your money.

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n. A person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.

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n. A person too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

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n. A school of thought loved by people, but hated by Republicans.

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n. A statesman that strives to replace current evils with fresh, new evils.

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Cynical Quotations

It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.

— Robert Anton Wilson

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Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.

— Unknown

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It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

— Ronald Reagan

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