(a.k.a The Devil's Dictionary, New Millennia Edition)

     
     

 

Word:  language

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Cynical Definitions

n. The source of misunderstandings.

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n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

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Cynical Quotations

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

— Heinrich Heine

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If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

— Doug Larson

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England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

— George Bernard Shaw

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God burdened man with multiple languages to slow our progress, for only God knows how really ^%((&#* dangerous we are.

— Guy Smith

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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

— Lily Tomlin

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The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.

— Lewis Thomas

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