Cynical
Goodies

Cynical Definitions

n. A system of rule through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

Cynical Quotations

Trickery is what humans are all about... They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that elect governments to do it for them.

— Terry Pratchett

It doesn't matter who you vote for . . . the government always gets in.

— Unknown

Whenever the Government denies knowledge, it is always speaking the truth.

— John Alejandro King

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

— Ronald Reagan

Thank God we don't get all the government we pay for.

— Will Rogers

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.

— Milton Friedman

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.

— P.J. O'Rourke

Government is morally wrong. The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.

— P.J. O'Rourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking, the catastrophe is still there.

— P.J. O'Rourke

It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.

— P.J. O'Rourke

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.

— P.J. O'Rourke

Washington is a place where people praise courage and act on elaborate personal cost-benefit calculations.

— John Kenneth Galbraith

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

— P.J. O'Rourke

Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

— Harry S Truman

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.

— H.L. Mencken

There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.

— Bertrand Russell

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

— H.L. Mencken

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

— Tom Robbins

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

— P. J. O'Rourke

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

— Bob Wells

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

— H.L. Mencken

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

— Will Rogers

You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly, too.

— John Kenneth Galbraith

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

— Will Rogers

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

— Richard M. Nixon

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

— Voltaire

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.

— George Bernard Shaw

The function of government is to provide you with service; the function of the media is to supply the Vaseline.

— Ernest Hancock