Cynical
Goodies

Cynical Definitions

n. Life's only certainty.

Cynical Quotations

In the long run we are all dead.

— John Maynard Keynes

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

— William Goldman

Birth to the butterfly looks like death to the caterpillar.

— Unknown

The wages of sin is death, but so is the salary of virtue.

— Unknown

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

— Paula Poundstone

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

— Joseph Stalin

We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming.

— Don Delillo

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

— Isaac Asimov

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but telemarketing calls taper off.

— Jonny Carson

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

— Wilson Mizner

Is there life after birth?

— Guy Smith

Death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

— Woody Allen

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

— Irv Kupcinet

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

— P. J. O'Rourke

May you have the good fortune to die on a slow news day.

— Guy Smith

Death is the only goal one can achieve without help, and even then you occasionally receive unwanted assistance.

— Guy Smith

To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.

— Anatole France