democracy
n. Choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.
n. The recurrent yet incorrect suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time.
n. Election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
n. A device that ensures people will be governed no better than they deserve.
n. Organized mob rule.
n. Two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
n. The process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
n. Raising the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.
Cynical Quotations
Television has made dictatorship impossible but democracy unbearable.
— Shimon Peres
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.
— Charles Bukowski
Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.
— P.J. O'Rourke
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed, and are right.
— H.L. Mencken
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.
— Art Spander
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
— Bill Vaughan
Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
— H.L. Mencken
Democracy is... government by orgy, almost by orgasm. Its processes are most beautifully displayed at times when they stand most naked – for example, in war days.
— H.L. Mencken
Democracy is "representative" in roughly the same sense that the Roman Empire was "Holly".
— William Ferraiolo
In democracy, stupidity always holds the majority in every chamber of government. It is, after all, a representative system.
— William Ferraiolo
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
— Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet
As democracy is perfected, the [presidency] represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. [Ed. Some people believe this has already occurred]
— H.L. Mencken
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
— Winston Churchill
The great flaw in democracy is the majority are always wrong.
— Christopher David