Cynical People
Guy Smith
cynic, n. And
evangelist in the Church of Reality.
 Guy
Smith is in the annals of cynicism. Or it that
anals. Hard to tell with him.
Aside from being the despicable and socially
unacceptable editor of the Cynical Web Site, Smith is a
renowned writer, songwriter and political provocateur
(well, he is renown in his living room, which is oddly
inhabited by Guy and a few other surviving insects).
Smith's writing is seldom referred to, but has been
called "A tragic collision between Kinky Friedman and
P.J. O'Rourke, with Joseph Heller reading the eulogy."
Most of Smith's pithier and slimier quotes ooze with
insights that only a deacon in the Church of Discount Worship could possibly put
to pen.
Though Smith's origins are not well known, he has
managed to infest the globe at points as far flung as
Florida, Virginia, California and allegedly a small
prison colony in the Philippines, though the only source
for that last location is one of Smith's ex-wives.
Let's hope he gets writer's cramp. Until then,
suffer with these top Guy Smith cynicisms.
Cats are like women. If you understand them, they make wonderful companions. If you don't understand them, then they are endless pains in the ass.
We should not be surprised that the abbreviation of the names of two of the most despised terrorist groups are so similar, they being the IRA and the IRS.
A catechism is a formalized, documented, structured review of Christian teachings. This is the ultimate extension of the principle that even the simplest concept can be expounded upon to create perfect misunderstanding.
"Wrath" is most commonly attributed to God and women. This should give men something to fear.
The fact that humans can drown in 2/3 of the world shows God's ultimate plan for us. If global warming is a fact, it shows man's desire to accelerate the process.
Some people purport that oysters are aphrodisiacs. Nonsense. This is a ruse by men to make certain sexual favors more palatable to women by the virtue of comparison.
I so enjoy seeing young lovers smooching in public. Not only does it fill the heart with warm and sentimental feelings, but I'm comforted in the knowledge that the ship of their affections will soon sink on the rock shores of reality, or sucked forever downward in the maelstrom of marriage.
Financially speaking, being married with children is exactly like diving into a pond filled with leeches, except you can flick leech off.
Is a politician boinking a prostitute redundant, or a quid pro quo?
|
